TEACHER'S FEEDBACK:

First writing of Sarah Yi.  The objective of this blog is to fix her writing in two to three months.

CORRECTION:

ABOUT THE BOOK JORORI

In this story, Jorori is a very bad fox.  He has assistants named Iysh and Nash.  His assistants have bad brains and do everything wrongly.  The story is about the wrong they were making.

The story is very funny so I like it. Children like it because of its humor.

COMMENTS:

This is a gist.  It only answers the question what is Jorori book all about.  No story were given by the author. The author has to know how to write the story development.  It has nothing to do with grammar or vocabulary ability.  It is about the processing of the mind.  Writing is thinking in paper.  Anyone who wants to write must learn to paint the thing in his mind through words and semantics.

Writing aesthetics came in second to the contents.  Writing aesthetics or mechanics.  First, content.  What is the content of your writing?  In fact, writing is being judged according to its content.  No reader will waste time to read something that they would not get anything.  The author or writer then must learn how to consider reader then.

Sarah is young.  But as a young writer, she has to learn how to consider the reader.

When I was a young writer and writing as early as Grade Five, I was told by my writing coach then my Grade Five Teacher, Miss Araceli Peape that when I write I have to think what I want to hear.  If it is not exciting for me then my writing is not good.  I should be the first reader of my writing.  As the first reader, I should appreciate what I have written.  If not, go back and fix it. ^__^

"Are you happy on what  you have written?" "No" "Then rewrite."